It was 49 months ago today that I was sitting at my desk, hungover and smelling like liquor. I was late to work as always and surfing the internet instead of focusing on the work I needed to get done. This was sadly my routine just about every day I actually showed up for work. How I still had a job was beyond me. I was at the point in my life's downward spiral to where I didn't really care, although deep down inside I really did.
I will always remember that day like it was yesterday.
As I was sitting at my desk, my boss approached me and asked me if I would go to a meeting with him. This surprised me because he hadn't asked me to do so in years. Of course I agreed. We got into his car and headed to wherever it was that we were going. We had a good conversation about business and what was going on with the company. I noticed that we were headed into the town I lived in which seemed unusual as I didn't know of any other companies in our industry in that area, but I kept carrying on with the conversation opposed to asking questions as to why we were in that town.
Eventually we reached a big building, got out of the car and walked inside. The building had a very large and open layout, but I immediately noticed that there were very few people walking around. I'm not sure why this drew some red flags in my mind, but I simply pushed them away and followed my boss to a door where I assumed the meeting would be held.
The door opened with a lady standing on the other side, she reached out her hand and asked if I was Austin. All of the sudden, my biggest fears came to mind. How did she know my name? Why was she expecting me? Is this a law firm and am I being sued for being worthless at the job for so long? I was freaking out inside but all I could do was follow her to another door.
As if it were in slow motion, I saw the door open. As soon as the crack in the doorway was wide enough, I could see my mother sitting on the other side of the room.
For some reason or another, I knew exactly what this was...an intervention. I still can't believe it to this day, but instead of feeling the anger that I had felt so many different times when my family would sit me down and try and talk to me about my alcohol and drug problems, I felt relief. As cliche as "the door of opportunity" sounds, that was exactly what it was.
I knew that if I didn't say yes to myself before walking through the door, I would overthink things and talk my way out of receiving help for my addictions. It was the most spontaneous, crazy, scary but necessary decision of my life.
This was my chance. This was my chance to start new. This was my chance to accomplish my dreams and goals, to rebuild my relationships with my family and this was my chance to do something bigger than myself for once.
Although it was the scariest day of my life, I knew that it would become the best day of my life in time. 4 years and one month of sobriety later, I look back on that day as the greatest day of my life.
I said yes!
Thank you for reading Spontaneous Construction.
My next blog post will detail the 22 days I spent in rehab.
I'm not asking you to share this for any ego boost of mine, but because hearing stories of people's recovery like this has saved my life and shaped who I am today. Maybe we can save someone else's life too.
One day at a time,
Austin F. Cooper